"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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