Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
