Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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