So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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