haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
