I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Randomize
