It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
