My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
