At least make sure they are 18
Why
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
