I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
