The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
