i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I can tuck mytits in my pants
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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