Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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