Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
