Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
