you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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