dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
