If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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