pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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