I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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