So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
