real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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