Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
