I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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