I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize