Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
