its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Don't make out with my wife yet
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Randomize
