I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
