Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
