terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
