Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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