She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize