U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
