saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
