I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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