I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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