and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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