your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
