Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
