so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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