I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
