do herpes really smell.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
