but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
