dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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