Your tits are I can't wait for
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize