I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Enjoy the penises
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
