my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
