I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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