Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Can you bring me the toilet please
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
