you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
