she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
