Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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