It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Semen is not good for contacts.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
