i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
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