idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
