I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
