my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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