I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize