White coat. Heels.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
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