just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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