I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Randomize
