i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
